SIXTEENTH DIAMOND PEPES COMPANY REPORT
With the CEO’s efforts placed on organizing the long-awaited Gen 2 mint, the CEO is back behind the typewriter to update his doting Employees on all things Diamond Pepes. Before we jump in and discuss Corporate affairs, let’s take a little saunter into the happenings of the CEO’s life.
In the past few weeks the weather has been rainy, cloudy, and gloomy; much in line with the current shape of the NFT market and the wider Cryptographic Currency space. However, as the earth continues its perpetual orbit around the sun, the seasons have shifted and the atmosphere has changed. The birds are calling, the flowers are blooming, and the crops are abundant.
It’s all going to be okay.
This week the CEO is taking a short little trip overseas to watch one of the world’s biggest E-Sport spectacles. For those that are familiar with the Defense of the Ancients, they would know that our annual The International tournament is not one to be missed. During this period, CEO may be a little less present on the ol’ Discord but is sure that our beloved CMO, so-called Bulma, is well-equipped to the task of keeping order within the Water Cooler.
Fret not, my pretty pets, CEO shall return back in one piece and we shall run it back turbo into the golden bull run.
[Since the time of writing this little update, Tundra E-Sports has successfully claimed the Aegis of the Immortal. A huge congratulations to Skiter, Nine, 33, Saksa, and Sneyking!]
Company Updates
Oh god. Oh lord. Oh bajoizus. It is time for those dastardly Company Updates yet again!
Nu PFP Mint
It should come as no surprise that Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. continues to produce high quality content for our loyal fans. Our silly little intern, so-called “TZ”, announced on the ol’ bird-apperino that we will be working with our lovely community artist 0xMinistry on a fine collection of Nu PFPs!
This will be a collection of 1,666 units with 1,111 reserved for Gen 2 minters and the remaining 555 available on a first come first serve basis. Make sure to mint your Gen 2 to ensure you can secure a spot whilst also getting your very own Nut Sax!
Feel free to leave some suggestions on the Discord regarding the traits you might like to see.
Diamond Pepes High Stakes Competition Series
The year is 2030 and we are eight years into our multi-year bear market. The only inhabitant of the Dopex discord is the CEO who continues to say good mnueenis and good nueenis on a daily basis in #water-cooler-talk, #the-boardroom, and #depths-of-hell.
Don’t let this dystopian nightmare become a reality.
To ensure morale is strong until market conditions improve, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. will be hosting a series of High Stakes Competitions pitting you against your fellow man/woman.
Are the stakes high? Yes.
Are the prizes excellent? Indeed.
Is the autism ineluctable? Indubitably.
Our first competition was our world-famous Diamond Pepes trivia followed closely after by our spooky little Halloweenis art competition which will be closing tomorrow!
Stay tuned as we announce many more activities to get us through these bearish times.
Wen 2 Pledge Airdrop
“Wen gen 2”
“Wen gen 2 airdrop”
“Wen lootbox”
My brothers in Christ. Perfectly valid points and you’d best believe this is something weighing heavily on the mind of the CEO and the rest of our interns.
The airdrop is a technically demanding process and will require intervention by our lovely developer, the dear Desperaux.
We are in the process of communicating with relevant parties and fully committed to working this out.
Dueling Updates
We plan on releasing standard dueling without the 80% tax to the treasury relatively soon. This will allow Gen 2 holders to duel other nerds in a far more +EV fashion and also for us to onboard our first challengers from other NFT projects. Additionally, this is the update we need to allow for our long-awaited Celebrity Smackdown.
On the UX end, the team is hard at work integrating some smaller updates that will allow duels to be shared via social media.
The first of these have already been implemented, with Nutoro’s Accountant updated to share newly opened duels directly to the bird-app, allowing anyone to chop in and issue a challenge.
We will also be implementing a button directly on the Duel UI which will allow users to share their duel results via their Twitter feed.
Gone are the days of people hiding their losses behind the facade of anonymity enabled by a depersonalized ERC-20 address. Take pride in your victories and show those silly beans why you are the greatest duelist in the world.
Future updates to be coming to Duel Pepes will be the leaderboard which will allow the greatest duelists in The Company to take their place on the pedestal of our Diamond Pepes website.
Stay tuned, ladducinos.
Autism of the Report
Typically we assign a portion of the report to the most astounding achievements. This report, however, I think it is important to draw the Company’s attention to our subchannel, #the-’tism, where one Employee in particular has been having a proper field day.
Ladies and gentlemen, CEO presents to you Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd.’s most bumbling autist, the nefarious so-called “Emonkwell”.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Not that bad actually.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Also by Jupiter this man seems to change his name alot.
Why.
Employees of the Month
“Oh CEO, oh CEO, you have missed so many Company Reports that we are missing our Employees of the Month. Whatever shall we do?”
It’s true. CEO has been slacking to focus his energy on the Gen 2 mint. Allow CEO now to present our awards to our Employees of the Month that we have left behind and also an early Employee of the Month to one of our most darling nuggets.
Employee of the Month - August
Whilst the CEO shitposted from the comfort of his own room, our CMO was cracking the whip in her Western Australia sweatshop, toiling day in day out to make sure our Nut Sax were up to the highest standards whilst barely complying with Australian labor laws.
For those of our loyal supporters who were kind enough to mint a Gen 2 Diamond Pepe and successfully claim their lootbox, the design and production of the merchandise is purely attributable to our beloved so-called Bulma.
Thank you for all your support to The Company and we appreciate all your hard work.
Employee of the Month - September
“What in tarnations? Who is this little mouse? I haven’t see his type inside the water cooler?”
Well, my silly beans, allow me to introduce you all to Despacito (not to be confused with the Dopex developer Desperaux).
Desp is the absolute weapon of a full-stack developer that single-handedly produced our excellent dueling and minting experience for our Gen 2. Despite being a small little nugget, he too has placed The Company on his back and ensured Gen 2 mint has been a pleasant experience for all.
Despacito, The Company owes you a great debt. I love you aha.
Employee of the Month - October
Now comes the first double-recipient of the prestigious Employee of the Month Award, resident Klown our beloved so-called “Flipwaan”.
He has made some superb videos in the past to showcase Diamond Pepes dueling and Celebrity smackdown and has been kind enough to produce some brand new videos. Tune in here to hear the CEO's sultry tones combined with our dear Flippucino's incredible videography skills..
We wish you a speedy recovery from being a useless legless cripple to a man that can perhaps crawl through the watercooler once again with your second Employee of The Month achievement.
Parting Words
After a long time coming, the Gen 2 mint has finally begun. There was arguably no better time to launch it than the absolute bottom of a bear market so please take a minute to congratulate the CEO and the rest of the Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. team on their strategic business prowess.
We will continue to update the community in regards to the Gen 2 pledge and release of standard dueling as well as any UX changes we will make to the site.
We are all very excited to prepare our Diamond Pepes High Stakes Competition series and are looking forward to welcoming you all there!
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my dear Employees.
Best regards,
Nutoro
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
Yeah owned fool AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
About Dopex
Dopex is a decentralized options protocol that aims to maximize liquidity, minimize losses for option writers and maximize gains for option buyers — all in a passive manner. Dopex uses option pools to allow anyone to earn a yield passively. Offering value to both option sellers and buyers by ensuring fair and optimized option prices across all strike prices and expiries. This is thanks to our own innovative and state-of-the-art option pricing model that replicates volatility smiles.
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