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It’s been a beautiful start of the year for Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. and the CEO has been running around like a proverbial chicken without a head, tidying things up and making sure the office is nice and dandy. It is only now that the king has had the opportunity to pick up the ol’ pen and paper to discuss The Company’s happenings.

Before we jump into the report, allow the CEO to regale you all with a little tale of his recent adventures. Here he will take you back to a little event that transpired in mid-November of 2023; a time fraught with high emotions, poor decision-making, and running it all back.

Read on, people.

CEO believes that traveling is one of the wonders of life.

The sights abroad, the silly people, the immersion in unique and diverse cultures. Seeing a society that perhaps superficially is built on such different values to your own yet functions in much the same way is absolutely eye-opening.

Earth is truly a beautiful place.

Moving on.

So the CEO had a flight booked back to the sprawling green pastures of Australia booked at a convenient and realistic time of 10am. Leaving 3 hours for the hustle and bustle of customs, a 7am arrival should provide ample time to do the needful.

7am arrival? We simply set the alarm at 6am, 6:05am, 6:10am, 6:15am, and 6:20am.

What could possibly go wrong?

As fate would have it, on the night prior, CEO took it upon himself to breathe in the beauties of this international city one last time. Wandering the glorious streets and enjoying the company of his new-found friends, it was a place he knew he would treasure forever.

As with all things in life, this final night too came to an end and the CEO found himself heading back to his hotel. Alone with his thoughts in this now familiar but yet so foreign country, he tossed and turned in bed till sleep took him.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep.Mm yes mm Mrs Nawwas boobas mmm yess indeed

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep.Snoooooooooooooore

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep.Mhmmm Gen 3 mhmmmm Gen 4 mayhap mhmmmm

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep.Snufflesnuffle wimble wobble

Mhmmmmmmm yes yes yes

SNOOOOOOOOOORE

Another beautiful day. Another beautiful dollar.

Rubbing the so-called “sleep” from his eyes, CEO shot awake, ready to grab the day by its proverbial balls.

Today was flight day and The King was returning home.

Hmm… that’s interesting.

10:02am.10:02am?

Bollocks.

It’s true. It’s all true. Despite an entire 20 minutes straight of alarms ringing directly in his ear, the CEO has, you could say, missed his flight.

Not good.

CEO had taken the luxury of purchasing flexible tickets for his return flight home. With this in mind, he took out his telephone and rang his airline.

Your number has been disconnected

Much in line with the day’s events, the CEO’s day of departure coincided with the day his SIM card expired. No matter, we simply adapt, improvise, overcome.

As a man with exceptional social skills, the CEO meandered into the hotel lobby requesting an audience with the concierge.

“1 of your finest telephones please, I must immediately contact my airline to reorganize my flight”“Oh Senor Nut Bag, most expeditiously my king, my liege, my beloved”

The Nut Meister charm has done it again.

So the CEO grabs the phone from the lovely concierge man and dialed his airline with haste.

Ring ring… ring ring…

“Yes hello. It is I, Nutoro, CEO of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. It appears that my plane has departed without me. Please reschedule it for me with haste”“Sure, that will be One Thousand Four Hundred Albanese Buckeroos for that”“But por favor, boss man, CEO paid extra for Flexi-tickets. I am being flexible here by changing my flight”“Nah”

CEO pays the One Thousand Four Hundred Albanese Buckeroos and hangs up the phone.

Not good.

It is inescapable fact of life that you will be faced with adversities that challenge you.

Do you let life win?

Or do you play the game to your advantage.

After the little kerfuffle involving a certain airline, the CEO was now so-called “in the red” for the value of One Thousand Four Hundred Albanese Buckeroos.

Now what does a man do in such a situation?

You simply win it back in one trade.

Oddly enough, the new day of my departure marked the same day that a certain individual infamous for so-called “Highly Profitable Trading Strategies” thought would be splendid to get back to his nefarious activites.

Engage Operation: Bad Debt with haste.

With a singular focus in mind, this naughty little nugget engaged in some manipulation of our industry’s backbone, our beloved Curve Finance. And with this absolute bodying of $CRV on the markets, its proverbial King Maker $CVX took a similar tumble.

Now whilst $CRV had largely recovered it appeared that $CVX had not gotten the so-called message.

Now what does a CEO do when he smells blood in the sheets or whatever the saying goes?

He does the needful.

Swap spot. Log out. Catch his 14 hour flight back home.

14 hours the king lands and checks his balance.

Cost of Airplane Ticket: -$1,400Gain on Sale of $CVX: +$1,420Net Profit: +$20

Never fade the king.

As promised, the CEO has finally dropped the Gen 2’s for the so-called “Pledge” event.

Please feel free to connect your wallet to OpenSea or whatever NFT marketplace of choice to see what beautiful little nuggets you have received!

For those following Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. or that frequent the Dopex Discord, you may have seen a number of high quality images hand-crafted by me, your valiant leader and king.

These Uwu’s have been specifically created based on qualities suggested by our esteemed community members.

Mayhaps these become non-fungible eventually?

Only time will tell.

It may come to your surprise that CEO Chutoro D. Nutoro and CMO Bulma B. Gaye are more than just the pretty faces behind The Company. A few weeks ago, these board-ceritifed super models released a high quality system specification covering a utility upgrade for one of our subsidiaries (Doo-doopex or something like that).

Did we have any idea what we were talking about?

Absolutely not.

But in the words of Benjamin Franklin, fuck it we ball.

Check out the full document here.

As a man with rich life experience and genius level IQ, there is not a lot in life that surprises I, Nutoro, the Most Esteemed CEO of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd., Strongest Man in the World, Sexiest Man in the Southern and Northern Hemispheres, Certified Scholar and Elite Artiste.

Two questions that CEO does ponder:

1. Where in god’s name does $jUSDC and $jGLP’s yield come from?2. Why does Shredducino not blend properly?

Food for thought. Check out Johnson DAO’s new vaults here ($jGLP) and here ($jUSDC).

Incredible.

Employee of the Month is a highly coveted award given to only the most daring builders in the Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. space. This week, the award will go to only the most deserving - the individual that responds first to the CEO’s request for Employee of the Month nominations.

Who could it be?

Holy shit. Nut Meister. You have done it again.

God he’s (I’m) good aha.

It has been a beautiful start to a beautiful year and the CEO is happy to lead the charge to financial freedom with Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. and all our lovely subsidiaries.

Next report mayhaps it is time to up the proverbial Ante in CEO’s fruit reviews.Mhmm… intriguing…

Until next time, my dear Employees.

Warm regards,

Nutoro

CEO of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd.CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM

About Dopex

Dopex is a decentralized options protocol that aims to maximize liquidity, minimize losses for option writers and maximize gains for option buyers — all in a passive manner. Dopex uses option pools to allow anyone to earn a yield passively. Offering value to both option sellers and buyers by ensuring fair and optimized option prices across all strike prices and expiries. This is thanks to our own innovative and state-of-the-art option pricing model that replicates volatility smiles.

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